i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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