he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
