Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize