I'm gonna have a badass scar
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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