Where is the hickey?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
