I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
