kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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