I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
