he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
