12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I need moral support for this bender
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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