I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
