I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
