Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
