We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
