Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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