so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
