It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The air was thick with penises
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
