Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
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