I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
