Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
