ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
