Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
