we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
