im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
