I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize