well I can't set my house on fire every night
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
