I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
