i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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