I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
