Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
only if we run a train.
done.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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