His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I have tasted many bathrooms
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
