All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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