ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
