She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
