I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
