wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
