everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
