You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
