3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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