I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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