the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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