those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
3 2 1 whiskey
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
