I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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