my soul wont recognize me after tonight
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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