omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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