Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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