why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
