Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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