Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
