By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
