I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
