Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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