did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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