i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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