with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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