Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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