we have officially lost it.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
