I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
