I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
