I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
