Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
