you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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