smell my finger.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
