Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize