can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
